We're not saying trains are bad or anything – we're just saying they're not as amazing as the Michael Jackson-sampling 'DON'T STOP THE MUSIC', track three on the new Rihanna album. This album has ten more than two good songs on it. The internet does have some amazing things on it but because the things on the internet are not ALL about Rihanna - some websites are about fish, others are about computer games and so on - the Rihanna Percentage of the internet is quite low, whereas the Rihanna Percentage of this album is roughly 100%. We can only think of one album we've heard this year which is anywhere near as good as this and the way things are going we'd be surprised if that ends up being released, meaning 'Good Girl Gone Bad' wins.

Almost every other album released this year However, there are twelve interesting things to listen to on the new Rihanna album, making blindness slightly less unappealing.ĩ. The only reason people are hung up on the whole 'sight' business is that there are too few interesting things to listen to. Pissing on the new Rihanna album will result in no such injury. If you piss on an electric fence you will cause yourself some damage. You would not put 'Good Girl Gone Bad' in the oven in the first place, thus minimising any risk of a blaze. Arriving home after an evening of binge drinking to discover that instead of there being no interesting food in the house there is in fact a frozen pizza waiting to be badly cooked and then eatenįinding a frozen pizza in the freezer when drunk inevitably ends up with the pizza being on fire because you fell asleep two minutes after you put it in the oven. But there is an album which does that job and that album is this album.ĥ. We are confident that no such dog exists. If you can show us a dog which builds on the reggae-pop promise of 'Pon De Replay' with a distinctive and easily-pinpointable sonic definition of 'Rihanna as an artist', thus proving that she is a popstar and is more than a faceless session singer who got lucky, then go right ahead. The internal combustion engine is fairly useful but you wouldn't want to put the sound of it on your iPod. There is no such thing as too much of the new Rihanna album because there are only twelve songs on it – ie it's the perfect length for an album. Let's bang on about how right we were about 'Umbrella' and ignore all the terrible, success-free and completely unlistenable music championed by Popjustice over the years.Īir is good for you but if you hyperventilate it is bad for you. We said that 'Umbrella' was good ages ago and, to our credit, we were right. Trees are all very well but they don't tend to contain songs called 'UMBRELLA'. This is an official list and is not open to question…

Rihanna full albüm